My daughter is growing up.
And I am thrilled about it.
She is moving through these experiences and I am fumbling alongside her… sometimes ahead of her, sometimes behind her.
We know how important we are to our daughters. We know they learn about life through us.
And yet, we must surrender this importance and recognize that we are not perfect… that we have limited control over life… and the only real ability we have to show up is through the ‘m’ word: mindfulness.
Our hope is to be mindful of our own experience and that of hers… and of our relationship and connection.
We check in with ourselves… we check in with her.
This limited perspective we have… even with the universe at our fingers, our minds zoom into our own lives, what’s happening right in front of us.
More than anything, we want her to be happy and healthy. We just want everything for her. All that we wish for ourselves, we’d sacrifice it all if it meant she could have it.
Oftentimes I cannot say all the words I wish to say and it feels frustrating. I hear my voice speaking to her and I know it’s not in alignment with who I am. Routine shows up and presence is taken over by wanting what isn’t.
Pushing my agenda of ‘feel better now’, is like scratching an itch… it feels good in the moment and then immediately feels useless and selfish…an un-ending cycle of immediate gratification.
She may be sad and I notice myself pushing her through her sadness… pushing her to gratitude… disheartened because she is dwelling too long in the gloominess and cannot see the much greater picture that she has at her fingertips. The miraculous universe we have entered…
I loose the moment when I miss the gateway to her heart…
I glaze over her eyes into her mind and force myself to present a reply that is acceptable and understood…
She teaches me what God may feel like… There is no rushing, but only allowing. We cannot possibly learn everything we need to know in one day…
God doesn’t show up and say, “Here it all is… now you know it all… you’re good now.”
God says, “You’re good now… you will learn all that you need to know, as you need to know it.“
Love and connection. Forgiveness and compassion. I pray every single day for these things so that I can show up for our life together.
May I teach you about self-love, as I commit to loving myself.
May I teach you about forgiveness, as I commit to forgiving myself.
May I teach you about connection, as I pray with you, speak of spirit and recognize when we all need to take a step back and move towards re-connection.
Even when I teach you anger, frustration and mis-communication, you rise up and remind me how to re-connect again.
Can you hear the voice of your intuition?
Can you feel the beat and tone of your heart?
My biggest challenge is I am not you.
Pretending I know what to say gets me half way there.
Many times I know not what to say… and maybe that’s ok.
I feel it in my heart and maybe that’s the direction I shall go.
Continuing to love you I will…
Saying, ‘I love you’ will be my go-to.
Excitement reverberates as anticipation for our journey bubbles.
You continue to be my greatest teacher and the powerful young queen who wears kindness and conviction in her crown.
Dazzle and curious fervor dance with you.
My promise to you is I will every day strengthen my truth and my light so that I can stand with you in yours.
Thank you and God bless.