Have you or a loved been given a prenatal diagnosis?
…. or a possible diagnosis through an abnormal ultrasound scan?
Although these tests are routine and offered to women as a way of “making sure everything is ok”…. nothing prepares a pregnant woman or her partner for the news that something may be “wrong” with her baby.
In the medical community, unfortunately, there are definitions of what is considered “normal” and what is not.
For those of us who have a child that was born outside of the typical spectrum considered “normal”, we would offer this: Once considered as “abnormal” by a medical professional, is considered extraordinary in our lives.
After receiving a prenatal diagnosis or an abnormal prenatal test, you may feel scared, nervous, in shock, angry, confused, guilty, depressed, or any other emotion that feels heavy and hard to handle.
Everything you’re feeling is normal.
It doesn’t necessarily make it easier or less painful, but it’s important to know that however you’re feeling is ok…. even if it doesn’t feel that way.
Time seems to stand still…. especially when you’re pregnant…. especially if you’ve been made aware that everything has now changed…. even more than you had initially anticipated it would.
You are not alone and there are many who have walked before you in this journey of motherhood.
When the trek begins after receiving an abnormal test result, it becomes a marathon of follow up appointments with many different medical professionals.
For me, I needed to have a conversation with consideration for the medical perspective but outside of it…. I wanted to discuss the emotional, mental, and spiritual components of this experience.
I believe it is the medical provider’s responsibility to offer this conversation, and I was surprised to discover that there was no support offered to me from my medical providers.
My prenatal care was provided by a highly credible and experienced facility…. and yet, I felt alone, discredited and afraid. I did not feel like there was a cohesive team working on my behalf, but rather, a segmented, very clinical approach to what I perceived as a “rare and unfortunate” circumstance.
We can do better.
We deserve better.
Our babies, our hearts, our souls and our spirits…… deserve better.
If you’re feeling lost in a sea of information, doctors, tests and what you thought was going to be a “typical” pregnancy, I assure that you are not alone…. our medical communities have made advancements in research and technology but are no where close to what a woman needs from a spiritual, emotional and mental perspective…. our physical bodies are only a part of what makes us whole…. and to only treat the physical of our experiences is to leave the most important pieces out….
…. we must remember these pieces and ask for help to integrate our whole selves into this new and oftentimes unexpected experience.
If you have received a prenatal diagnosis or an abnormal prenatal test, and would like to talk with someone for support, please reach out to me or reach out to an organization below that can walk with you at this time.
Try Life Center is an invaluable resource that can be reached 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Carrying To Term is an organization that provides support and resources to equip families to navigate a prenatal diagnosis of a life-limiting condition.
Choosing to carry to term is a very personal decision, and they have a wonderful website of resources, information, education and support.
Please visit them at www.carryingtoterm.org