What happens in the moment we fall + Loving our kids is straight bravery

“The problem is in our culture, if you listen to a talk or if you listen to someone tell a story, they set it up and they say

“then I fell”

“then I got hurt”

“then we failed”

Then all of a sudden, in 20 seconds,

“but then I fought my way back up.”

“We got our act together”

“I fell in love with someone new”

But no one stops at that moment that we’re really hurt and down and says “what happens here”.

What happens in this moment?

We look away when people try to show us or sometimes people are too ashamed to show us.

We tend to look at things like failure and disappointment and heartbreak and think, man I don’t want to be those folks. But those are the brave people. Look, the broken hearted are the bravest among us. Cause they dare to love somebody.”

Brene Brown

I love this because no one really teaches us how to sit in those moments of despair.

What does it look like… am I alone? What does moving through an emotion actually look like?

It’s just as important to sit in the fall as it is to get up.

Honoring our feelings, healing the emotional body, shadow work…

….they all describe what happens when we fall and those moments, hours or even days where we must sit with ourselves at our darkest times.

Love is for the brave

Since attending a beautiful workshop last night, by the fabulous Katelyn Lesk, I have had a few new transformational thoughts.

Another attendee read a post by Dr. Northrup, that implied:

Being positive is riskier than being negative

Then it dawned on me…

Sometimes thinking negatively feels like the braver move because we are “prepping” for the future. We are being responsible and prepared.

Aside from the fact that worrying makes us think we are actually doing something, without actually preparing or planning…

Thinking positively is actually the braver move.

It causes us to run the risk of being disappointed.

Not wrong, as the world would like us to believe, but disappointed.

…which is very painful.

Loving my kids is brave

Loving anyone is brave.

We just may not give ourselves enough credit for the love that we have in our current lives and the role it plays in our fear.

A worst-case scenario I have is a thought, like I imagine most mothers have, is of something happening to my kids. Moms worry, and we are programmed to immediately go to that danger zone and then prevent it all from happening to keep our kids safe. It’s our job. It’s our responsibility.

And I have struggled with these thoughts… and this possibility of an accident or trauma happening.

“The hormones of stress cause us to select the worst-case scenario in some future and begin to emotionally brace ourselves for that event, in order to protect ourselves from that outcome. Now the problem with that is that out of the infinite potentials in the quantum field, we are selecting the worst possible outcome and emotionally embracing it.” – Dr. Joe dispenza

During our workshop last night, the new thought hit me:

I love my kids

Of COURSE I don’t want anything to happen to them.

You love your kids…and you did it… you put yourself out there… you love someone… a few little people! Ones that you carried, birthed and are now devoting your whole life to!

As a woman who never liked committment…. who even had a lil habit of keeping tags on clothes for a little while after buying them… relationships, forget it…. daydreaming about forever but never actually aligning with it.

You DID IT! You have transformed… you have committed and you are in deep.

You have put yourself out there and committed to a life that you never fully dreamed was possible.

And it is OK to be sad at the thought of being disappointed… sad at the thought of sadness.