Hello perfection lovers! I dwell in your space. I like to know what things are, what they will be and how I know I am “doing it right.”
I write the to-do list item, after I’ve done it, just to check it off.
My motto is: If you want it done right, do it yourself.
I once told a sales manager that I really love positive reinforcement, and I also love constructive critisicm.
This is the girl in me who gets a gold star and a great, warm, fuzzy feeling when I have accomplished something, when I have really hit the nail on the head…. when I couldn’t have done it better.
I see the picture perfect scenario in my head and do everything in my power to make it happen.
I practice daily to let.this.go.
A few years ago, as I started having this conversation about Source energy, thoughts become things, being the light, choosing fear over love… I have new things to get just right…..
The perfectionism carried over into my spiritual practice… my daily living of wanting so badly to just get it right.
Again….gotta let it go and ask for a miracle.
I must remember that the magic happens in the unknown.
I cannot predict the future, only co-create with a God who rises above the human condition.
Planning for the future only keeps me from living in the present.
Are we supposed to plan?
Somewhere along the way, we learned that by worrying about things and trying to control everything, we can prevent bad stuff from happening and we can have a sense of security over our lives….
If everything is just perfect, we can feel good.
And somewhere along the way, we tied doing things just right with us being just right.
If we don’t get things done the way we think they should be done, we feel disappointed… and rejected…. and unloved.
This is pretty similar to the way our kids feel when they have a sense they’ve disappointed us. Because they connect our rejection of their behavior with a rejection of their self-worth.
We represent love and security. And if aren’t happy with them, they may loose that.
So here are, into the world we go…. intertwining our productivity and correctness with our own self-worth.
No wonder perfection is so important to us.
If we don’t get it right, we just may fall off the face of the earth.
Or worse…. live a life of disappointment…broken-heartedness and suffering.
Here are some thoughts to ease your mind…and your heart.
5 Ways You Know You’re Doing What You Should Be Doing
1.) By asking this question.
When you ask yourself questions that cause you to stop and look at your life from an outsider’s perspective, congratulations! You are acting as the observer and this is the name of the game. By observing our thoughts, we begin the process of allowing them to change.
And when the “way we look at things changes… the things we look at change.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer
2.) You’re reading this.
As someone who is curious and wants to know more, you are on the path of light, my dear. Your inquisitive nature and interest in helping yourself move through life in a happy, healthy and fulfilling way is a sure sign you are headed in a beautiful direction.
3.) You recognize the moments where you are unhappy.
These moments, which are equally as important as the happy moments…. stop you in your tracks. Your thoughts lead you down a path of feeling sad… angry… lonely… disappointed…these moments mean just as much as the moments where you feel joy and happiness.
When you recognize the thoughts you don’t want to have, the feelings you don’t like, and the experiences that make you unhappy, you are carving the path for the direction you want your life to go.
In order to know what we want, we must learn and recognize what we don’t want.
4.) You have a willingness to let the should go.
Although I will read and read and read… there is no manual for life. There are many books that help guide us greatly, but there is no such thing as doing it right. We learn as children that the world has rules…. and so we have an idea of what things should look like. Yes, there are boundaries and laws, but when it comes to your happiness and what unique gifts and talents you specifically bring to this life… that is for you to discover for yourself.
So for this purpose, we must let the should go. We no longer use it as child of curiosity, but a way to punish ourselves and make ourselves feel guilty for choices we make…and worse… feelings and thoughts we have.
We make ourselves feel guilty for pages unturned and roads not traveled. I say, let’s take the pressure off and let us be just we are…and go from there.
I also invite you to re-frame your should. Instead of saying, “What should I do?”, re state your question to ask, “What choice would best serve me in this situation?”
The first has an energy of fear, worry and guilt…the latter has an energy of allowing and an invitation for the universe to guide us.
5.) When joy is front and center
When we are in alignment with our higher self, we feel joy. It doesn’t mean that when we don’t feel joy, something has gone wrong (again, just another way we are trying to measure if we are doing it right or not!)….
Lately, I’ve actually been practicing forgiving myself for feeling angry. So many times I have silently tortured myself with my thoughts about why I yelled or why I got so mad.
So being less than joyful does not mean we are messing up. It means we are human. And we are still alive. And still have work to do, which will always be the case as long as we are here on earth.
Seek out things that bring you bliss. Recognize moments when you can tap into that abundant energy of love… that high vibration sense of YES.
If you don’t know the sensation or feeling I am talking about, please let me know and let’s work on it together.
If you do know, tap into this. This is your Source energy and this will shine your path. Live from this place. Make decisions from this place.
Thank you and God bless.