Breaking habits that lead to depression
I cannot tell you how much Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself has truly taught me and how it’s given me the tools I need to be better….for myself, my husband, my kids and the people around me.
This book is based on the science behind how the neurons in our brain “fire together and wire together”. We set ourselves up for pain.
For example, think of a bike path in the woods. A path has been created because bikes have gone over and over the same spot, again and again. Riding your bike on this path, years later, is very easy because the path has already been embedded in the land.
Another example is physical practice. Shooting a foul shot on the basketball court over and over trains the brain and the body to “just do it” when it comes time during the game.
It’s the same way with our actions and behaviors. By behaving in the same way, time and time again, we train our minds and our bodies to react in the same way. Thus, our realities are in a constant state of reflecting the choices we make with our thoughts and actions.
Introduced to Dr. Joe and what it has to do with depression
You may have seen the documentary “What the Bleep Do We Know?” You can see the full feature <a data-cke-saved-href="” href=”https://www.empowernetwork.com/%3Ciframe%20width=%22420%22%20height=%22315%22%20src=%22//www.youtube.com/embed/ioONhpIJ-NY%22%20frameborder=%220%22%20allowfullscreen%3E%3C/iframe%3E” rel=”nofollow” target=”_blank” title=”What the Bleep Do We Know”>here, but below is Dr. Joe’s commentary in the film and it was, without a doubt, a defining moment for me in terms of my own awakening to consciousness.
What we can learn about our thoughts and feelings that lead to depression
The more we are in touch with our feelings, the more we can look to them for guidance. They are our intuition.
However, there are certain feelings that I have that I recognize as feelings of fear…feelings that are non-serving.
These are feelings of fear, and my “go-to feelings”, as I like to call them, are anger and sadness.
We all have triggers. These are things that, if we identify, can help us make a different choice in the moment…a choice that is much more serving of ourselves and others… a choice of love, rather than fear.
Some of my triggers are hunger, being tired, and times throughout the day with my kids. These are times in the morning when my daughter is about to miss the bus for school. These are the times in the evening when it’s between 5pm and a 7:30 bedtime when I just really want to fall over and go to sleep but the kids are running around like crazy people who need fed, bathed, and put to bed.
I noticed, when I became aware, that if I was in a situation where I felt out of control, I resorted to anger. My immediate reaction was to yell… as you can imagine, this does not make me feel good and although it gets my kids’ attention, I’d rather not live from a place of anger because it makes me feel totally out of alignment with the peaceful person I know I truly am. Especially for my children, it cultivates a subconscious of anger, anxiety and fear.
Like reaching for alcohol, food or work to numb my pain, I reached for anger… I was addicted to anger… Addicted to anger?
Yes…I soon realized, through my studies of Dr. Joe and further research of neuro-pathways… I’ve learned that if we train our brain to think a certain way by behaving in a certain way, our bodies and conscious mind, act on auto-pilot. I was becoming angry without even thinking about it.
After evaluating my anger and asking myself deeper questions… I realized that I inevitably and truthfully felt very sad… I would feel sad about my lack of control and inability to feel validated.
Soon after addressing my anger and consistantly making a different choice when I felt the emotion of anger, I fell back into sadness… I realized that when my world got quiet, I resorted to sadness in order to validate my own feelings…WOW.
I realized that growing up, I relied so heavily on feeling sad and sorry for myself when I did not feel validated by my parents, peers or teachers. I used sadness as a tool to make myself feel better, to tell myself that I had feelings that were genuine and worthwhile.
As an adult, it’s through forgiveness of myself for resorting to this pain in order to receive validation.
I am fully committed to loving myself and accepting myself exactly as I am…exactly as God made me to be.