Why today is different

It’s the Monday after Christmas…

It’s the Monday before New Years’, which falls in the middle of the week..

The kids start back to school on Thursday..

The holiday has peaked, and we are still anticipating a happy New Year’s Eve…

For me, I’m a different person than I was before the holiday started…

For one, I turned 29 years on the 29th… I had a beautiful birthday with the people I love…

…and who love me…

I saw my Pap off to be with the Lord….

…I stand guard at his once home, the place he took his last breath…the place his beloved resides to make a life with his presents, but without his physical presence…

This has been quite a festive and involved week in a half.

Why today is different

Today is different, as it’s the first Monday I sit in my home, and a tiny bit of regularity creeps through the Christmas decorations…

The snow falls through the wind and I wonder where my kids’ new toys are going to find their put-away place.

This is the first Monday after Christmas and before New Year’s that I am self-employed… feeling none of the guilt and sadness I have felt in the past about working a position I semi-like/really wish things were different, on the road, in the snow, wondering where my time went and what I’m doing…

I don’t have to request time off during these coveted days and I don’t have to beg and plead with the universe about my purpose…and my unanswered prayers…

My prayers have been answered this year…not because God is different…

…because I am different

And if a person can be incredibly grateful for gratitude… I’m your girl.

My gratitude is so huge this year and I can really feel the difference…

Have you ever felt thankful for things but still felt something was missing? Although this feeling does cross my heart, I’m happy to say that my strong gratitude has been cultivated and is more present then I think it’s ever been before.

It didn’t happen by accident…or overnight…

I believe that with a decision to have an attitude of gratitude, I have invited in this overwhelming feeling that leaves little to my lack mentality and ego thoughts…

I am truly grateful… and happy….and at peace…

This is the first Monday after Christmas, that I can truly say….I am releasing the anxiety that slipped in a moment ago, the anxiety I may be tempted to be suffocated by later today….

And I am abundant and at peace…

I am thankful for the beautiful relationships I have with my amazing family and friends and I appreciate my opportunity to cultivate my own acceptance of myself. My inner work is very important to me and I appreciate the teachers that surround me.

I am thankful that I can look at my 29 years and feel the tiny bit sad that so many years are behind me, but so incredibly excited for the years to come.

I am excited…

I am thankful for the time I spent with my grandparents together and the wonderful life and legacy my grandfather left for me… left with me… for me… for us… for us all…

I am so happy and thankful that Pappy is where he is and he gets to be healthy…and happy…and free… I’m so happy for him….

I’m happy and thankful that I have many more years with my grandmother, who is as strong as she is kind…

I’m thankful for the miracle that will celebrate his/her birthday with us…at home…sooner than we think…

Today is different because we are all different….and my gratitude is stronger than ever… and I’m thankful for the time I can spend with loved ones…

and continue to grow…

…and love…

…everyone in my life…

…especially, myself…

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