How to have a better relationship with my daughter – Be the energy that best serves

I WILL have a better relationship with my daughter!

Thank you to Gabby, again, for her Live in the Know Lecture last night. It really hit the spot. Just after I had an argument with Charlie, my 6-year-old and was late to the online lecture because after we put the flames of anger out, we sat and talked…

How can I better my relationship with my 6-year-old daughter?

Parenting books all over the book store will give you tricks and strategies and discipline tactics and positive reinforcement and bribery…the list goes on and on…how to raise happy kids, how to raise responsible adults, how to teach your kids to have positive a relationship with each other and their peers…and on and on…

Being on my second child, I’ve learned a number of great parenting techniques… however, I must say that if I am quick to anger, if I am frustrated, if I am in a hurry, if I feel out of control, if I’m unhappy and stressed….parenting techniques are counter-productive… my daughter picks up on my energy quickly and it’s taken me 6 years to get to this point… to the point where I must be better….

I must change my energy in which I say things… I mean, I’ve read it a thousand times in the parenting articles online, the advice to remain calm because getting worked up causes even more tension.

The time is now…. I must be better.

How to be better in a relationship

Be the change you want to see in the world, right? Here’s what’s not written in the parenting books, or at least none that I’ve personally read…

It’s ok to lock yourself in the bathroom

Today, because I felt myself getting upset and unable to help facilitate the argument between my daughter and 3-year-old son, I made clear my expectations, that the toys needed cleaned and then they could play outside, I put on some relaxing music for them and I was going to be taking a bath so I was going to be unavailable.

Yes, they ended up both in the bathroom, crying, after apparently their argument led to a wrestling match…they take turns leaning over the bathtub, sobbing, revealing the terribleness they both just experienced…

Me, I was listening to an audio on my laptop that was sitting on the sink, a wonderfully inspiring audio from a leader in the online business I’m committed to…

So, you could say I was really putting my energy where it needed to be…where I wanted it to be…
I ended up locking the bathroom doors…. and took things one moment at a time… they would work it out…and they did… my son ended up laying on the couch, zoning out, listening to the music, and my daughter was having a hard time cleaning up her toys alone. She started becoming aggressive with my son and he ended up coming upstairs to my room. I was laying on my bed at this point, being 5 months pregnant, I need a little more rest!

My son and I layed together for a few minutes and had a nice conversation about the baby and about blueberries, and oatmeal, his favorite cereal.

My daughter came upstairs and she had calmed down and we all started talking again.

I truly believe that if I can set the intention to be the energy I want to see in my children, it will happen….and subtle shifts will occur that best serve everyone. A better relationship with myself, is a better relationship with others.

Be the energy I want to see in the world…

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